What should I do...I'm not sure??
Question: Don't get me wrong I am not here to dog my husband i just need to know if I am in the wrong or not. I wanted to go to a concert with my friend who is coming to visit me but something came up with his job and i was okay with him saying we can't go. (I believe marriage is 50/50) I said okay...what is THIS weekend we go to canada which is like 3 hours away and we can all go (all 3 of us) and go to a bar and have fun...
he said no he doesnt want to go because he thinks Canada is boring (we've been once) So, i said okay what about bizmark.....and he got all mad and told me he didnt know. I asked him what was wrong and if he would tell me why he keeps telling me no. I didn't even have an attitude but when i brought it up tonight he got pissed because i explained to him that i feel like everything i want to do is shot down. He finally gave up and said FINE JUST GO I DONT CARE ANYMORE....am i wrong for going? I told him that if he tells me to go then i will.
Additional Details
Apr 29, 2006 at 4:04 pm
I tried asking him to explain why he is telling me know and he just says because..i asked him if he likes my friend or not..and he says that he has known her for 4 years now (me 7) and that she is cool...but he just doesnt want to go anywhere...He wont explain to me why he is saying what he is
Apr 29, 2006 at 4:07 pm
We have been married for almost a year and half and been together for almost 6 years. He does this every time something comes up that i want to go and do rather its with him or with friends.
Answers: this is how i feel about this, if you give in and stay home you will be there the rest of your life! now you have asked him if he wants to go and he said no, so pack your bags and show him where the soup is! you are married not in jail. sounds like he is a control freak, go sweetie, show him your not going to let him treat you like he is your father. have a good time:)
too much info. Just go
Tell him he's a miserable s.o.b. and you need to have a life. If he doesn't like it ignore him till he gives you a reason for his attitude.
(....I'm a happily married bloke by the way!)
SOUNDS LIKE THERE IS NO MUTUAL TRUST HERE.
TALK HIM INTO GOING OUT WITH YOU & YOUR FRIENDS, HE JUST
MIGHT HAVE SOME FUN.
WOW - that was a mouthful. Well, I don't feel that married couples should be going to bars without their spouse. It has nothing to do with trusting that person, it has to do with being in a place where others are drunk and God only knows what could happen.
Maybe your husband is afraid of what may happen to you if you go out to a bar without him. Maybe he is afraid to tell you this because he feels you will think he is acting out of jealousy, when he is just concerned for you safety.
That is just my opinion and I know that others will completely disagree with me, but I hope it helps you with your decision.
Respect your husband, if the shoe were on the other foot, how would you feel??? Someday it may be and you will be able to say to him remember when you asked me not to go out and I respected you and didn't?? maybe you could do the same for me.
Just go and have fun. The more you let him have this behavior, the worse he will get. Don't give him any more attention and don't explain things way to much. Just like a child, negative attention is attention, which is what he is getting.
First of all, this is way bigger than a concert. Try a marriage counselor.
And just go, it'll show him you have independence.
Something's eating at him and I don't think it has anything to do with you going or not... so if you want to go, go and have a good time. If he is pissy when you get home because you went just tell him that you asked his oppinion and he wasn't being responsive. Quite frankly it's as if he's seeking attention but for some reason he wants to fight.
he said no he doesnt want to go because he thinks Canada is boring (we've been once) So, i said okay what about bizmark.....and he got all mad and told me he didnt know. I asked him what was wrong and if he would tell me why he keeps telling me no. I didn't even have an attitude but when i brought it up tonight he got pissed because i explained to him that i feel like everything i want to do is shot down. He finally gave up and said FINE JUST GO I DONT CARE ANYMORE....am i wrong for going? I told him that if he tells me to go then i will.
Additional Details
Apr 29, 2006 at 4:04 pm
I tried asking him to explain why he is telling me know and he just says because..i asked him if he likes my friend or not..and he says that he has known her for 4 years now (me 7) and that she is cool...but he just doesnt want to go anywhere...He wont explain to me why he is saying what he is
Apr 29, 2006 at 4:07 pm
We have been married for almost a year and half and been together for almost 6 years. He does this every time something comes up that i want to go and do rather its with him or with friends.
Answers: this is how i feel about this, if you give in and stay home you will be there the rest of your life! now you have asked him if he wants to go and he said no, so pack your bags and show him where the soup is! you are married not in jail. sounds like he is a control freak, go sweetie, show him your not going to let him treat you like he is your father. have a good time:)
too much info. Just go
Tell him he's a miserable s.o.b. and you need to have a life. If he doesn't like it ignore him till he gives you a reason for his attitude.
(....I'm a happily married bloke by the way!)
SOUNDS LIKE THERE IS NO MUTUAL TRUST HERE.
TALK HIM INTO GOING OUT WITH YOU & YOUR FRIENDS, HE JUST
MIGHT HAVE SOME FUN.
WOW - that was a mouthful. Well, I don't feel that married couples should be going to bars without their spouse. It has nothing to do with trusting that person, it has to do with being in a place where others are drunk and God only knows what could happen.
Maybe your husband is afraid of what may happen to you if you go out to a bar without him. Maybe he is afraid to tell you this because he feels you will think he is acting out of jealousy, when he is just concerned for you safety.
That is just my opinion and I know that others will completely disagree with me, but I hope it helps you with your decision.
Respect your husband, if the shoe were on the other foot, how would you feel??? Someday it may be and you will be able to say to him remember when you asked me not to go out and I respected you and didn't?? maybe you could do the same for me.
Just go and have fun. The more you let him have this behavior, the worse he will get. Don't give him any more attention and don't explain things way to much. Just like a child, negative attention is attention, which is what he is getting.
First of all, this is way bigger than a concert. Try a marriage counselor.
And just go, it'll show him you have independence.
Something's eating at him and I don't think it has anything to do with you going or not... so if you want to go, go and have a good time. If he is pissy when you get home because you went just tell him that you asked his oppinion and he wasn't being responsive. Quite frankly it's as if he's seeking attention but for some reason he wants to fight.
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